I recently received a gift from a woman, and what she said when gifting it made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I’m grateful. Her comment caused me to reflect on what she could have said differently to me. I hope you know I’m not aiming to be critical of her, because I know what she said is actually not that uncommon in the gift giving ritual either in WORDS, or in THOUGHT. We consciously or unconsciously can tie expectations to gifts, and as I mentioned in her case, she verbalized it. “You better use this” is what she said. Of course, she said it with a smile, and with I’m sure good intention. But, I was put off by the comment because there was a heavy dose of commitment tied to it.
After I left her, I reflected and I realized another way she could have said that was “If you don’t find that you like it as much as you thought, I hope you’ll either give it back to me, or find it a great new home” I thought I would share with you all, because I intend on saying this to others when I gift them something.
The irony of this and why I also find it impactful to share with you is because I actually have no desire to use this gift, even though when she initially offered it to me I was really excited. It was so beautiful and expensive. But, every time over the last two years I thought about using it, I felt for lack of a better word “icky”. In fact, I recently regifted it to someone who I thought would like it more.
When someone gives a gift, of course it would be rude to not accept it, right? So, at the very least let’s give them the freedom to use it or not use it as they wish, WITHOUT GUILT!! And, to conclude, I caution you to consider what gifts are you keeping JUST because you feel obligated to. Are you actually enjoying the item? Or just allowing it to take up space because there’s an unspoken pact to keep it?
Hope you like my little share, and as always, I’m cheering you on with GRACE!!
